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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together
- Are you a parking ticket cos You got fine written all over you.
- (*)If i take a (*) away from the sky 4 every time thought of you the sky wud b empty(8)
- wen i grow i wanna b jus like barbie dat bitch gets everythin (6)
- TaLk 2 ThE haNd cAuSe ThE FaCe AiN’t hoMe leAvE A mEsSaGe WrItE AfTeR ThE ToNe…….beeeeeeeep
- Nike-just dun it. its not all its cracked up 2 b
- Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
- “We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”
- “Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’ “
- “If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.”
- “My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn’t take it out of my garden.”
- “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
- “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
- “Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in bee
- “An alcoholic is anyone you don’t like who drinks more than you do.”
- “Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.”
- “I don’t like people who take drugs… Customs men for example.”
- “I have decided to live forever or die in the attempt.”
- “Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children.”
- “Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.”
- “Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.”
- “Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head.”
- “Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat!”
- “Until I was thirteen I thought my name was ‘Shutup’.”
- “When a woman steals your husband there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.”
- “Men: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.”
- “Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.”
- Its better to be black than gay because when youre black you don’t have to tell your mother
- Its only kinky the first time!
- The only guy u can really trust is ur daddy!!!
- My dreams are your nightmares
- IM THINKING…. BUT NOTHINGS HAPPENING!
- I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
- [One by one the penguins steal my sanity]
- (*)Theres always a light at the end of a tunnel, just pray its not a train(*)
- -Your still ugly, Pass me another beer-
- There are many many ways of keeping fools occupied, one way is to use really long pointless nicknames.
- Those are my principles. If you don’t like them… I have others.
- Why do our noses run and our feet smell?!?!
- :) My darling my love, my beautiful wife/husband. Marrying you screwed up my life :S
- I’d Get Up And Do Something With Myself, But I’d Rather Stay In Bed!
- I love ur smile and ur eyes…Damn im good at telling lies!
- I thought that I could love no other. Until, that is, I met ur brother!
- Be selfish just once… If your upset, take someone elses life instead of your own!
- This DOG is a good DOG way DOG to keep an fool DOG busy DOG. Read this again without DOG.
- My door is always open so feel free to leave
- I’m knot dumb!
- Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
- I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception
- You were so cute as a baby… what happened?!?
- You cant have everything, Where would u put it?
- ~*~What happens if you get scared half to death 2 timez?~*~
- Act your age, not your shoe size!
- My cat’s name is mittens!
- [2 + 2 = 5] for extremely large values of 2.
- Don’t drink and drive, you could spill the drink in your car!
- Yes.. It was I who let the dogs out!
- [I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!]
- They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance!
- -=Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!!=-
- [When I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you]
- Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
- I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
- Reality: An illusion due to lack of alcohol.
- >> I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect!
- Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
- I’m telling you ociffer, I’m not drunk!
- There’s a *NEW* Mexico?!?
- I’m not handicaped, I’m just LAZY!
- I’m an angel, i swear, the horns are just to hold the halo up!!!
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