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- What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!
- I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
- Not me, not now, maybe later…
- Life’s a beach… Surf it up!
- Trying is the first step towards failure
- I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
- If it is tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
- Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but milk do?
- Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
- I’m more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
- When I’m good I’m very good but when I’m bad I’m better
- To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life’s problems
- WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? … Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i’LL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
- I avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it
- I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours
- Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
- Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
- When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
- Gravity always wins
- The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk
- There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise
- I’m not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
- Buy land, they have quit making it!
- Don’t judge a man by his boxers, it’s what’s inside that counts
- I’m not suffering from insanity, I’m enjoying every minute of it
- Eat healthy, exercise more, still die
- Politicians prefer unarmed peasants
- Time is what keeps things from happening all at once
- Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition
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